4 reasons Chain Letters Suck

Chain letters, in all forms, are one of my biggest pet peeves, and for 4 reasons.

4. They're immature

It seems to me that most people who send chain letters, chain comments, or chain e-mails are simply trying to get attention. People have an innate desire to have an impact on the world, and someone, somewhere is immature enough to derive some sort of pleasure from seeing their letter being posted all over the internet.

3. Who is idiotic enough to think they are real?

It is sad to me that someone out there really believes that if they send an email to 10 people and then hit "Ctrl+Alt+del" two times real fast that the name of their lover will appear on their computer screen. I know computers are amazing, but they're not freaking magic. Stop being retarded.

Example from a You-tube comment:

"In 1997 a girl called lauren was walking in a forest and then a she just dissapeared no one ever found her untill 2000 when a yoing girl called Mary found her body and markings on her chest saying: I wasnt pretty enough" and now you have read this she will appear in your mirrorrsaying your not pretty enough and kill you. by the way the girl called mary died shortly after. To be saved paste this to 5 other videos. THIS IS TRUE Now uv started readin dis dunt stop. This is so scary. Send this to 5 ova videos in 143 minutes. When ur done press F6 and ur crushes name will appear on the screen in big letters. This is scary cause it actually works."

Seriously. I swear I didn't make this up. The sad thing is, this comment was posted on the video over the first 10 comments. That means that 10 people felt their lives were in danger, but if they managed to save themselves, then their "crushes name will appear on the screen in big letters." If you did believe this, it's online harassment. If you don't believe it, then you can now graduate from Middle School.

When I ask people why they pass on chain letters, I seem to get the same response over and over again. "Hey, it doesn't hurt to try it! It might have worked." Well, guess what? It didn't. And it never will. Just give up.

2. It is guerrilla junk mail

It's easy to block junk mail from "getabiggerpenis@generic.com," but its not so easy to ignore an email from your friends and family. Perhaps the worst spell of chain emails I ever received were from my Aunt. My Dad told her my email address and she sent me an average of two chain letters a day. It doesn't sound so bad, but it got old fast. Her email address is blocked in my Gmail account now...

1. Stupid threats just piss me off.


For the love of God, this is a big one. If you threaten me with something, don't make it as FREAKING DUMB as a dramatic, dead girl named Mary. The thing is, even though I know its just a big pile of crap, it still infuriates me to be threatened by a freaking You-tube comment. I know it's not a big deal, but it gets annoying. It's kind of like having someone drive by in a car while you're walking down the street, and they yell out the window, "I'M GOING TO EVERYONE YOU LOVE IF YOU DON'T THREATEN 5 PEOPLE TODAY!" You know it's a lie, but it still makes you mad.



So guys, please. Just stop sending those letters and hit the "delete" button. Thanks.

~jw