Thursday, December 27, 2007

Top 5 Tips on how to survive a crappy job

Congratulations! You are now employed! What’s that you say? Your job sucks? How so? Low pay? Long hours? Well, let me let you in a little something… A job that makes money is an awesome job. More money means more awesome, but even at the bottom of the chain, you’re still better off than those unemployed hobos under the interstate.

Ok, so I bet you still think your job sucks. Even though your job may be crappy, it doesn’t mean you can be a bad worker. Here are the top five tips to surviving your crappy job. Heck, if you follow all of them, you might even get a promotion and have a slightly less crappy job. At the very least, you will make someone else’s job less crappy.

5. Always be available

Finally! It’s the weekend. Time to sleep in, sit back, and play some Wii. What’s that yonder sound? *Ring Ring!* It’s your boss! What does he ask? Can you come in today and work, she says?

The answer is yes, and for two reasons.

First off, you are going to get more money. That means you will be able to afford more Wii games.

Secondly, it makes you look good. A very important part of making your job less crappy for you and for those around you is simply to make yourself likable. The more people enjoy your presence, the more they will want you to work. That means more hours and, eventually, better pay. Showing up whenever they need you makes you a very desirable employee. That means they will pay more to keep you.

4. Be nice to EVERYONE

You know that one guy who everyone hates? The guy that works next to you and NEVER does any of his work and you end up having to do it for him? Well, you can’t be mean to him. You can’t even talk behind his back about him.

Why? Because the worse you treat him, the worse you look. No one likes a bully. Even if someone is just witnessing someone else getting bullied, no one feels sympathetic to the one dealing out the blows and stealing the lunch money. Sure, maybe he or she deserves it. Does that matter? No. If he or she is a crappy employee, he or she will be fired. At the very least, you will look awesome in comparison.

Also, go out of your way for people! If someone asks you to do something for them and you have the time, do it. Don’t be their slave, but lend a helping hand every once in a while. It will make everyone’s life easier in the long run.

3. People expect you to suck

Now-a-days, getting a crappy minimum wage job is easy. So easy, in fact, that most of the people who work at those jobs are people who deserve minimum wage or lower. By that, I mean high-schoolers, druggies, and insane people will all want your job.

By default, when you walk into your job for the first time, people will expect you to suck. While this may sound like a bad thing, it really works in your favor. Use this to your advantage! Many lazy people would say, “If I just live up to their low expectations, I’ll get paid the same as working my butt off. Why bother?”

Because if you work far beyond what the employer expects, people will notice. I guarantee it. People will start to like you, which means that employers will pay more to keep you. Hello, higher pay, more hours, and promotions!

On top of that, everyone who works with you will have an easier job. Everyone wins!

2. Don’t burn your bridges

This is perhaps the hardest one of all. Ready to leave for college? Tired of working at that crappy fast food restaurant? Well, before you grab the intercom microphone and curse out everyone in the store, STOP and think. What happens if someone you work with gets a promotion? One day, you might be applying for an internship with McDonald’s HQ in Washington, when suddenly the guy hiring remembers you from the incident four years ago. Goodbye, sweet job.

Most everyone has worked a crappy job at least once in their life, and you only get first impressions once. As tempting as it is to leave with a bang, don’t.

1. You are dispensable

The store is packed. There is a line going out the front door and down the street. And you are the only one working the registers. Yikes. But hey, look at the bright side! There is no way they would fire you tonight, right?

WRONG. Every pot addict and their brother wants your job. It’s pretty easy, it makes money, and they hire and fire people every five minutes. No matter how much you think they need you, you are replaceable. Your pay will reflect how much you mean to them. Higher pay means that you have more job security, but it also means your job is less crappy. If you think your job is crappy, there is still someone else in this world who wants it.

By remembering that you can ALWAYS be replaced, you will automatically find yourself working harder, being nicer, and generally making everyone’s lives easier. You’re not the one, Neo. Not yet.


P.S. Like usual, I took many of the pictures above from Google Images. If you feel that I have stolen your pictures or content in any way, tell me so in a comment and leave your email address. I will return contact and not publish your personal info. Thanks!