Sunday, December 16, 2007

I put the "Lengend" in "Legendary" at Texas Roadhouse

You heard correctly.
I AM the Roadhouse Legend.

Let me start over... From the very beginning, actually.

Back in the good-old-days of January 2006, I working at Chick-fil-a. And I loved it. Except for one small thing... I had just turned 18 and I was making only $5.75 an hour. The thing is, my manager promised me either a raise or promotion when I became of age. Well, that never happened, so I was on the prowl for a new job.

One night, it was getting late and I was stuck on drive through patrol (which was a blast for me, because I'm a freak and walky-talkies blow my mind) at the CFA. I had just finished stuffing my pockets with nuggets from the back when I heard the *ding* of a customer coming around.

"Welcome to Chick-fil-a, this is Otto. How can I help you today?" I said in my kindest voice (fyi, no one calls me Otto, but I told everyone at CFA to call me that. Long story).

"WHROHASALFF!" said the mysterious person on the other side. Of course, following this response, I looked at the TV showing the video feed from our security cameras to see who was yelling, and it was two girls in a bright yellow convertible car. They looked High school aged. My first thought was "snotty rich white girls." So was my second and third thought (but if you are reading this, white girls, you ended up being nice people).

"Please pull around so that I may further assist you..." I said, to get them off my walky-talky. Only responsible and/or cool people were allowed on my walky-talky. Not Crazy. Cool.

They ended up getting a chicken sandwich leaving, but I was the one who handed them their food. They know my face now. *dum dum dum!*


That night my parents decided to go on a date. Just my Mom and Dad. Cute. Anyway, they decided to try that new place, Texas Roadhouse. When they walked in, a hostess guided them to their seat, all the while making small talk.

"You know, my son is actually looking for a new job. Are you guys hiring?" my father inquired.

"Where does he work?" she asked.

"Drive-through at Chick-fil-a, but things aren't working out there too well."

"Oh! I was just there! Yes, we're hiring. Tell him 'Yellow Car Girl' says hey!"

THIS BLEW MY MIND... but got me a job.

I quit Chick-fil-a, started at Texas Roadhouse as a Bus Boy (called Server Assistants, or S.A. for short at the Roadhouse), and watched as "Yellow Car girl" (unsurprisingly) quit a month later. I knew I was about to leave for college, and I wanted to be able to come back for the holi
days and summers, so I worked my butt off. I mean, I worked so hard busing tables that everyone I worked with got fired because they looked that bad next to me. (Ok, maybe I'm just exaggerating... They usually got fired for smoking pot, stealing, or being generally lazy.) All the servers wanted me to clean their tables. And I would. Because I was a Server ASSISTANT. A lot of the bus boys didn't get that.

So that summer, I went off to Summer Camp to be a counselor. Then I worked two weeks at the Roadhouse. Then I went back to college, then Roadhouse, then college, then roadhouse, then camp, then roadhouse, then college, then roadhouse again. Each time, I worked harder than the last. Every time I got back to the Roadhouse, we'd have mostly all new S.A.'s.

...And that brings us to the present!

I walked in today for my first time back since the summer, and everyone is smiling at me. A little creepy... All the servers freak out a little bit. Women faint. Armadillos bow at my feet. And all of the new Bus Boys keep asking, "Are you the John Wesley? You're, like, a legend around here!" (OK, again, exaggerating about the women and armadillos, but the bus-boy-legend thing is true.) Lets just say, work was awesome today.

Apparently, most of the S.A.'s who worked there between the last time I was there and today where pretty weak. In fact, 3 where fired the day before I came back. Yikes. All the ones left were told of the legend of John Wesley - The Bus Boy who could.

So, if I'm so awesome, why don't I become a server? Move UP from assistant?

Well, to be frank, I make more money as a bus boy. If I move up to Server, my pay goes down to $2.15 an hour plus tips, minus 3% of sales for tip share. That means I'd make crap most days out of the week. I can't say what I make now for legal reasons, but its better than that. (When you average it out).

In Conclusion, I am the Legend of Texas Road House. Beware my mysterious ways. Bow before me and tremble! Mwa haha!


P.S. No, there is no moral to this story. Except watch out for me cause I'll bus your table so hard you'd think I was Chuck Norris. Yea, I said it.

P.S. I'm not that cocky about it, but I do autographs for $5 each. Comment with your email address and I'll give you details.